Change can be dramatic and it can happen in an instant. Examples are everywhere of people who have abruptly stopped drinking or drugging, quit smoking, turned to vegetarianism, stopped watching television, or started exercising daily.
Even most chronic addicts seem to take the 28+ days at a residential treatment facility in stride without taking a drink or doing a drug.
THE problem: just as it was “easy” to change, it is even easier to change back.
When rehabs talk about change they are idealizing about permanent change. What makes this ‘permanence’ happen? How does one make their change “stick?” To answer this question would be a good start to addressing the terminal problem of addiction: its chronic and recurrent nature.
Here’s one possible solution: transition.
William Bridges devoted his life to the study of transitions as experienced by individuals, groups, and corporations. He is the author of 10 books and The Wall Street Journal picked him as one of the top ten executive development speakers in the U.S. (2006).
Two of his books I found most pertinent to this discussion are “Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes” and “The Way of Transition: Embracing Life’s Most Difficult Moments” (Go to any online bookseller if you want to read the highly rated reviews on these books).
Bridges doesn’t directly apply his life’s work to addiction recovery, and I can’t seem to find anybody else that applies Bridges' principles of transition to those currently in rehab. Applications of the principles and processes described in his literature are my own, but hopefully you will see how it would make a lot of sense to anyone currently battling addiction.
“Transition is not just a nice way to say change. It is the inner process through which people come to terms with a change, as they let go of the way things used to be and reorient themselves to the way that things are now.” (Source)
Change is external (the different practices or behaviors one can observe) while transition is internal (a reorientation of beliefs, motivations, and thought processes that must be made in order for the change to stabilize and persist).
The problem with most rehabs is that they pretend that the change their clients’ make (starting a clean and sober life within the residential rehab) is on ‘automatic.’ And if (the big “if”) their clients remain clean and sober after leaving the rehab, it is just an extension of this simple change process. Change, then, is a fragile undertaking, and its delicate nature may at anytime be easily shattered resulting in relapse.
While change is observable at the surface, there are many uncomfortable issues occurring internally in the mind of the addict.
There is a sequence to this ‘madness’: (1) Endings; (2) Neutral zone; and (3) Beginnings.
Endings…
Before embarking on a life-changing course, one must first begin with the process of letting go of their old alcohol or drug abusing life.
The idea of having to say goodbye to everything associated with a negative behavior pattern, or grieve the loss of any of the positive (internal) things surrounding alcohol or substance abuse doesn’t make much sense to people that have never dealt with a serious addiction. For addicts, however, this represents a practical hurdle.
It is also a step that is readily skipped by the recovering addict, because it is either taking taken too seriously (feared), or not seriously enough. The idea of forever abstaining from their drink or drug of choice can be so disconcerting that the addict will avoid this step; also, there are those that think they are ‘beyond’ all that, they think it is silly to give much thought to ‘endings,’ because they feel like that have already put that all behind them.
Change is represented as a barrier, while transition is a path. To get through the barrier (change), one must follow the path (transition). To get started, Bridges suggests asking a question that will start to dissolve those ‘inner connections’ one has to the old self: “What is it time for me to let go of?”
To a recovering addict or alcoholic, giving up booze and drugs is the obvious change; so, “what parts of them are now out of date?” Perhaps all of their ideas or beliefs connecting the substance to all the previous pursuits of their addicted lives: ways of making life more exciting, easing social situations, dulling anxiety and stress, hiding depression or the negative feelings about all their current circumstances. Maybe their drug made their job, home, or relationships tolerable. Maybe drinking gave them a sense of routine and regular connection with friends; or masked their sensitivity to loneliness.
When a habit, behavior, or a way of life comes to an abrupt end one may begin experiencing a certain degree of all of the following: disengagement, disidentification, disenchantment, and disorientation.
Disengagement from the routines, roles, and behaviors that were a part of their addicted lives leaves one feeling disconnected and lost. The person in early recovery can’t count on all the old patterns of feedback that helped them identify with who they were and how they functioned before.
Disidentification can be the internalized result of disengagement, or as a direct response to their newly adopted clean and sober lifestyle. To a person who has never had a serious problem with addiction, sobriety would seem to be the best way to get to know oneself. However, for the addicted, that uneasiness with self may have been part of what the addiction was meant to resolve or at least hide. The struggle of identity can be fierce, but progress can only be made as the person in recovery lets go of who they think they were to open themselves up to the possibilities of who they will eventually become.
Disenchantment will occur as the addict begins to recognize that substantial constructions of their former systems of thoughts and beliefs were just ‘in their heads.’ True reality is layered with a person’s perceptions of how things ought to work. The “old view” was once okay, and even worked quite well, but it is now inadequate and unworkable. This often results in the addict trying to make everything conform to her old view, but with failing results. The addict will likely blame everybody and everything outside of themselves before seeing that only the right revision of their thoughts and beliefs will provide the best results.
Disorientation is a very real and unsettling feeling; ask any recovering addict who has an honest awareness about their current situation. Being lost without any clear direction of where to go will appear to outsiders as someone who is disconnected and “not all there.” People who have never had a serious issue with addiction will wonder why the recovering addict just doesn’t get on with life, why they don’t seize upon their clean and sober lifestyle with passion and enthusiasm. The sense of emptiness permeates the recovering addict who may experience the ending of their addictive lifestyle as a symbolic death or abandonment.
With all of these distressingly uncomfortable thoughts, many addicts will opt for a “shortcut” out and back to their familiar drinking and drugging ways. This is where most rehabs really miss the boat. They are concentrating on ‘new beginnings’ without adequately addressing all of the frenetic and persistent internal processes going on in their freshly detoxed client’s mind. It doesn’t matter how many negative consequences have already resulted from the addicts chronic or recurrent behaviors, or even how many more are likely to occur should the addict relapse. What really seems to matter is whether the addict can accept and work-through all of the uncomfortable issues swirling incessantly within their heads long enough to eventually experience the real rewards of a relapse-free clean and sober lifestyle.
The second part of this article will concentrate on the final two processes of transition: the neutral zone and the new beginning.
William Bridges & Associates Official Website
Books
Articles you can read online
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My email: betteraddcare@yahoo.com
Related: Residential alcohol treatment center, drug rehabilitation, addiction, substance abuse, alcoholism, twelve step rehabs, alternative to 12 step, recovery program
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